The World Thru A Child's Eyes

The end of the year is here and I can't help but to think of things I didn't accomplish. I can't help but to think of the what ifs and how I could of improve things. Then these same thoughts take me to a better me for the new year.....

Many people get the "holiday blues" and I can honestly say it is not too hard to get there. Life is full of ups and downs, accomplishments and disappointments. It is never fully happiness and everything perfect! Otherwise it wouldn't be a real life nor a life worth living because there would be nothing to look forward to nor to fight for and nothing that would extend your own limits! 

I look at my daughter and all the children I counsel. And wondered.... "How is the world through their eyes?"

The answer is not so hard. You see, children are simple and transparent. They live in the present 100%. They don't know what tomorrow is so they don't worry about it. They have dreams that they hold to as the future. Try asking any age kids about the future. It would not make sense to you but it makes perfect sense to them. They believe in fairy tales still and in Santa Claus. I see traumatized kids in my field and even trauma does not take that precious gift of dreaming away. The fear is there, the anxiety creeps up on them, the unexplainable anger over takes them BUT they move on!!! They do not allow these unexplainable horrible feelings change who they are! As they get older their views change and start adapting to more adult like thinking. As a psychotherapist, I love working with children more than adults. Because children are full of hope and adults have a harder time getting there!!!! 

I realized that I was looking back at 2013 with pain were I can focus on the joys that the year brought. Or I can see the world through a child's eyes and focus on being present with myself and be excited for 2014! 

Happy New Years and try to be present every minute of your life! 

Outer Beauty vs Inner Beauty

Every women struggle with their self image. I can guarantee if you ask a women what they would like to change about themselves the will pull out a list or at least 1 physical aspect. There is a quote I like to use which says; "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder". I do agree with that quote because it doesn't matter how many compliments we would receive if we can't see it ourselves. Many of us compare ourselves to models and celebrities. Which to our dismay they spend hours with a professional team to glam themselves  and afterwards their picture gets photoshopped. So let's ask ourselves, what are we really comparing ourselves to? And is it realistic? Most likely the answer, if you are honest, would be sort of shocking. What we see on TV or magazines is not real. What IT is real is our inner beauty vs outer beauty comparison. The mirror is a lier. The mirror can only reflect how you see yourself. I remember getting a makeover at Laura Mercier and I kept asking the artist how I can hide my dark circles. She used a ton of different things and it wasn't making a difference to me. Until she pointed out how close I was to the mirror. Her words were "Mayeling, no one would get that close to your face unless they are kissing you which if they are their eyes are closed!". I had no choice but to laugh with her! But is it so true. I was so preoccupied with my "close up" look that I didn't realized how silly it was! 

This is a phenomenon that we as women always overlook. We believe what we believe and there is no talking us out of it. Even when our men constantly tells us that we look good! Now I, of course, add myself to this audience. Ever since I had my baby, I struggle even more with my body image! My husband believes I look better than ever. My friends tell me how good I look after only 9 months of giving birth. So why is it so hard for me to see what they see? Well, the answer is: because I have to change my inner beauty to see my outer beauty. Now this is no easy task for me because I was so convinced I was able to look like Kim Kardashian lol. Except it would cost me a lot of money to invest in extensions, tons of makeup, surgery, fake eye lashes, etc! Pretty unrealistic if you ask me, lol. 

So how can I change my inner beauty to reflect my outer beauty? For me I had to look at myself and see what attributes do I like after baby. And surprisingly I found a few. Then I took all my clothes and donated them! ALL of them! So I was forced to buy  new clothes that actually fit me. Harsh reality to find out I am not juniors sizes. Then learn what style goes along with my personality!!!!! It sounds really materialistic right? Well the truth is that the moment you make an effort to look like yourself then you will feel like yourself. Our inner beauty has to do with our perception of the outside. And there is such a thing as a severe misconceived body perception. It is called Body Dysmorphic Disorder. This disorder is a preoccupation with one or more perceived defects or flaws in physical appearance that are not observable or appear slight to others (DSM V). Keep in mind you have to meet certain criteria to be diagnosed with this. However by just reading the definition it sounds like we can all have this! 

Dove created a heart touching video regarding beauty. When I saw it I couldn't stop crying. Because I always struggled with low self esteem it hit me harder than most people. The video does a great job showing women how they see themselves vs others see them. It was such a reality check. I included the link so you can watch and hopefully it will teach you something valuable. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=litXW91UauE

New Struggle: Discipline

When I was childless, I was real quick on "knowing" how parents should discipline their children and had my ideas on exactly what I would do when my turn came. Boy was I in for an awakening!!!! Truth is that I am having a hard time with this concept: DISCIPLINE. I know mom experts must be reading this and wondering " what is wrong with her?". But it is so true, I am seriously struggling. And to add to my already confused mind, I am a Child Therapist!!!! However, do not confuse my expertise and knowledge with my motherhood. I have a dear friend that is a doctor and she does not like to check her own child. So I guess I am not that crazy for not applying my expertise to my own child, lol.

This is where I am struggling. Like million of other moms out there, I want to raise a perfect child (unrealistic). I would like my kids to be well manered, respect their parents as well as others and not be afraid to talk to us. My daughter is only 9 months old and she is at the age of setting limits. Therefore, the word "NO" is repeated thousands of times at home. We have found out that she has learned the meaning of no and our facial expressions associated with it. Nevertheless, she is an infant full of energy, curiosity and adventure. I also understand that every child have a distinct personality and not every discipline principle works. And honestly, that just made my confusion worse. I have cultural beliefs that come with their own principles of discipline. Then I live in a culture that also have their standards of proper discipline. Also, I have my own perception and knowledge from my field of the effects of proper and improper parenting. Can you see my struggle now?????

After researching tons of articles and reading books and manuals, I came to ONE conclusion. My conclusion is NO ONE HAS A RIGHT ANSWER! One example is corporal punishment. Tons of research shows how much it affects a child in a negative way. Then, other research shows the contrary along with cultural aspects. The best thing I was able to do is gather all the information (negative and positive) and lay them out on the table. Then I brought in my parenting partner (my husband) and asked him his beliefs and thoughts. After all, I am not raising our children alone. We were able to discuss our feelings and thoughts about this matter and together came up with something that fits our family. We both decided what we will try and how we will execute our principles. It was the best approach I took and I can honestly say that it ease my mind.

I refuse to believe that I am the only mother worrying about this! I sometimes think about this huge responsibility we have of raising our children. I analyze how much we can mess them up and how much we can help them. At the end of the day, we can only do so much and not everyone can agree on one thing. Discipline is an individuial thing because not ONE person is equal to ANOTHER.

Fair Game: Dads vs Moms

As I am sitting in my bed, thinking of my next topic, while my infant daughter is jumping and clapping next to me filling the room with noises and laughter. I can't help but to wonder, where the heck is my husband?!?! Oh yeah, taking his sweet time showering. Hmm I don't remember the last time I was able to enjoy a shower. I am usually rushing because baby duties are awaiting. Then, all of the sudden it clicked!!!! Yes, my next blog topic...... Are baby duties fair game between dads and moms????

Please, do not get me wrong! I love my daughter and love spending time with her, taking care of her and she makes me laugh! But I can't help to feel like I am always doing more than daddy. Then I wonder if it is an innate ability we acquire as soon as we conceive. The urge to do it all, the necessity to be the one in control and the mom power to just get things done!!!!! How involved do daddies really want to be and how involved do WE allowed them to be???? 

I can't be the only one going through this. I am pretty sure if I talk to a mother with more than 1 child they would look at me like if I am insane! Well, I am hoping they do at least. Because deep inside I want to believe that daddies DO want to do more but mommies just don't give them a chance, lol. 

My husband is a great man and an awesome father. And he tries to do his best to help me. I, on the other hand, do not think about asking for help. I feel like baby duties are all mine. On the contrary, there are dads that would rather have mommy do it all because it is quicker than to figure it out. However, hats off to single dads. 

Moms, do not let your motherly instincts trap you!!!! I was doing it all and I was starting to feel like Cinderella. Men do not have mother's instincts. Instead they have protector and provider instincts. They think that they have accomplished their duties by accomplishing these instincts. It will NOT come natural to think " well, she has baby duties every morning so let me pick up the baby every afternoon". And moms will just naturally do what she was built to do, being nurturing. 

Picture Courtesy from BabyCenter.com

I think, as a new mom, that it has to be fair game. In today's world we both have to work and although it might not come naturally to daddies they are willing to help. But us mommies have to speak up. So take some alone time and talk to your hubby and make a plan. We are a team and parenting is team work. I see some parents wait until their kids are older to establish "teamwork" because they are exhausted. But it is hard to change something that has become a custom in the family. So why not start now!!!! Parenting along with baby duties is fair game so lets work towards 50-50 ladies!!!

"Angels" and "Ghosts" in the Nursery

When a couple finds out they are expecting a bundle of joy, many thoughts and feelings surfaces. To some couples is the BEST news they ever received and can't explain the joy they feel. Other couples react quite differently because of fears or the unexpected news. The truth is that raising a human being is quite nerve wrecking regardless of your situation. I remember getting super excited then getting really worried because IT IS a HUGE responsibility. Well, I want to mention something I just learned. Even though I am a psychotherapist, I learn something new everyday and that's what I love about my job. I learned about a phenomenon called "Angels and Ghosts" in the Nursery. First of all, let me clarify that "angels" and "ghosts" are used as a metaphor. There is no need to get scared and call the Ghost Busters lol!

Ghosts are referred to unresolved childhood issues that parents bring to the relationship with their children. Ghosts make it difficult to see your child for whom they are. Parents' perceptions are distorted by past experiences. It is very hard to identify your own ghosts because, well, they are invisible and they do a great job blinding you from the present. Ghosts can be as serious as a child trauma or as simple as your own relationship with your parent. Ghosts can also be something that get passed on generation from generation. I recall many people saying "I refuse to be like my mother/father" and not realized that they are acting just like them. It can be very deceiving and tricky. I have identified some of my own little ghosts in my nursery. The good news is that you are able to identify those ghosts and cast them out of your lives. You do not have to relive your childhood with your children. If the ghosts are painful then it is better to seek professional help to deal with that pain and get it out of your life. Some ghosts are harmless, however it is still best that you identify them so you can be aware.

Angels are referred to intense loving, nurturing, acceptance, and characteristics which provide a core sense of security and self worth. They are positive traits that are transferred from generations. Just like ghosts, angels are hard to find as well. There is a power battle between angels and ghosts in the nursery. Usually you can find angels in the midst of ghosts. If your parents played with you as a child most likely you will naturally play with yours. It is those little things that come to mind AS you are repeating it with your children. I remember some of my "angels" like when my mom would give us Mcdonald's fries with sprite when we were sick just to cheer us up. How my father will stay up with my baby sister after a late night feeding just to play with her. Angels are those things you make it a point to transfer to your child so that good and loving legacy moves on. So ask yourselves what are your ghosts and angels and how will they impact your parenting???

For more information about research findings on ghosts and angels in the nursery look up Alicia Lieberman and Angels in the Nursery research article. 

Happy Marriage vs Busy Parents

Have you ever noticed how different newly weds are from a couple that has kids? You can always tell what married couples have kids and what married couples doesn't. How? Well, the couple that does not have any children or are newly weds are very affectionate with each other publicly. You can see them hold hands more, hug more often and caring towards each other. The couple with children do not show that much affection towards each other and if the kids are present they are usually paying attention to them. This, by all means, does not mean they do not love each other. It just means they are usually tired and consumed with taking care of their kids. Many parents do not make an effort to spice up their marriage because they are dealing with the guilt of being away from their children while at work. By the time they are ready to have a conversation with their spouse they are too tired and just want to rest or sleep.

So how can we have a happy marriage while being busy parents? Is there a happy medium? Is it even possible? The answer is YES! However, it does take serious commitment and effort to make it happen. Strong and healthy marriage brings security to our children and happiness. Sometimes I hear parents saying that they feel guilty to have date nights after their children have been at the sitter all day long. The children WILL survive so let's remove this false belief out of our minds. Here are some tips on how to improve our marriages: 

1. Learn how to pick your battles: we can honestly say we can argue and fight for a lot of things. I know it annoys me to pick up clothes off the floor. However, we must pick our battles. Instead of arguing for every bad habit look for compliments. It is way easier to find the negatives than the positives. Make an effort to search for compliments even if they are simple. Make it a goal to give 2 compliments daily to your spouse! And when a fight is about to rise, ask yourself what would be accomplished, how important is it to you and if its worth fighting over.

2. Be nice: men like to be respected and women like to be appreciated. So, do not ridicule your husband in front of others. Treat him with respect especially in front of others. There is nothing worse than to hurt a man's ego. Of something really bothered you, wait until you are alone and discuss it. 

3. Quality time: it is very challenging to take time away from the kids and focus on each other. But it is very nurturing to your marriage. Just taking time to talk to each AND to listen to each other goes a long way. My husband loves to build stuff and to talk about projects which I have absolute no interest in. But I make it a point to have a conversation with him and actually listen to what he has to say. The same works with him. This works best AFTER bedtime. So if your kids do not have a bedtime establish one right away. 

4. Physical Touch: make it a point to TOUCH each other. I read about a 60 second cuddle rule. If you spent some time away from each make sure you spend 60 seconds (at least) to cuddle!!! And see how your love will blossom!!!!

Good luck mommas and go ignite your marriage!!!

Tootles......

Fitness Tips: Working Mother

Every where you look you see and read how important it is to eat healthy, exercise, spend time with your family, self care and maintaining the marriage happy. Sounds extremely overwhelming if you ask me!!!! I will be honest with you, being a full time working mother and wife AND accomplishing all these MUST do sounds completely insane and impossible to do. But I am trying my absolute best to accomplish as much as I can. In search f tips I found a very good article about fitness for working mothers.

The article states that the minimum requirement for healthy fitness is 20 minutes 3x a week!!! I was very pleased to know that because hours at the gym is just too hard right now. 

Some of the things they suggest are as follows: 

1. Make fitness a priority and put in your calendar like any other appointments. Instead of eating lunch out take 20 minutes and walk around. You can eat a light lunch that day, walk and then go back to work. 

2. Get your family involved. Take a family walk after dinner or ride bicycles. If you have a pool then go swimming! This will allow you to get your workout and spend some quality time with your family. 

3. If it has been a long time since you worked out then pace yourself and work yourself up to the 20 minutes. 

I hope you found these tips useful. For more information and other articles visit childdevelopmentinfo.com. 

Am I Loosing My Mind?

When I was pregnant, people told me how my life was going to change. Some people disclosed how great my life will be others disclosed how miserable they are. Needless to say I was confused. I didn't know what to expect while I was expecting!!!! I refused to accept the negative comments and embraced all the positive advice. Now, I am a new mom of a 7 months old baby girl (time flies). And well I can tell you that those people who "scared" me were not all completely right. One thing that I was not ready to accept was the constant worry!!! OMG, DO I WORRY 24/7. Please, do not get me wrong. I do have moments of laughters, joys, smiles and play. But in the back of my head I am ALWAYS worrying. Is there a switch I can turn off for a break????? Pleeeeassse!!!!

I remember every trimester came with joys AND worries. First trimester is a critical time where you worry about miscarriages. Second trimester is when you rejoice on finding out the gender and worry about proper development. Third trimester you worry about labor and delivery. But once the baby is out then your worries just never stop.... I thought to myself, am I loosing my mind? Will I ever stop worrying? Do I have to over think things? Do I always have to think about worse case scenerios? Then I figured maybe I should stop watching Lifetime Movies, Criminal Minds, the news, scary movies and only watch cartoons!!!! Hah, I would probably have to leave this planet if I want to protect my child. These thoughts just pondered in my head day and night along with all the dangers in the world.

Truth is, I had to realize that I am a mom with limited control. I can sit here and think of million ways to put my baby in a bubble and succeed. But one day that baby will be an adult, a clueless one too if she stays in a bubble, lol.  I had to understand that LOVE has a price. Otherwise, we would not cherish it at all. My unconditional love for my child comes with constant worries. As a mom I want the best for my daughter and future children. The more I shared my fears and worries, the more I realize that ALL moms feel the same way. So I am NORMAL after all. My mom was right when she said, "when you become a mother, you will understand me 100%". And I do, and I appreciate her more than ever. So, what do I do with all these crazy worries???? NOTHING!!! Great answer, huh?!?!? But it is true, there is nothing I can do to stop the worries. All I can do is understand that this is part of being a mom and not having complete control. I just have to try the BEST I can to teach my children right, to raise them to make a difference in the world, to become a fine lady and/or gentlemen, to treat others with respect and love and to practice safety at all times. As for me, I have to learn to let go the need to control everything and trust in God. It is very hard to do especially knowing what I know. I can't rob my children from enjoying the beauties the world has to offer. Yes, I do understand there are bad things (evil ones) out there but I cannot raise scared human beings. I must sit back, relax and enjoy every little moment I have with them because the present is truly a gift.

Dealing with a Loss

Dealing with a loss is never easy even when it is natural and you are expecting it. We all know that dying is part of life. The moment you are born you know one day you must die. Nevertheless, it is a topic that most people do not like to talk about. When I was younger, heck even now, I would cry with just the thought of my parents dying. I just could not imagine my life without them. I am in a place in life where grandparents are getting older and slowly dying. One by one. A few weeks ago I lost my last grandma. And yes even though she was 92 years old, it was sad and it hurt. The healing process was quick though because it was from "normal" causes.

What about the times where it was unexpected?!?! How can you deal with a loss that just came out of nowhere?!?!? 

Indeed, words cannot explain the emptiness in your heart, the emotional roller coaster, and the mental breakdown you encounter. You may have all the support in the world and all the most empathetic words from friends and it will not change anything! And that is ok. You see, we all need time to heal. And that healing process looks different for everyone. There are stages of grief but one must understand what exactly you are grieving. It can be as simple as the death of a grandparent, as complex as the sudden death of a spouse, as confusing as a suicidal death of a son/daughter or as heartbreaking as a divorce process. No matter the situation or circumstances, the stages of grief are the same and it will take time. 

When I was going through my divorce process, I just wanted to speed up the grief process. I didn't want to cry or become bitter. I just wanted to move on and find happiness again. I learned the hard way that there is no such thing as speeding up the process. It will take its course no matter what!!! So take your time and live through the moments and allow yourself to properly grieve. 

The stages of grief are more of a guideline to help us understand what we are going through. Not everyone goes thru the same process and not everyone goes thru all the stages. Grieving is an individual thing. Not one person grieves the same as another. With that being said, here are the stages of grieving: 

1. Denial: it's a conscious or unconscious refusal to accept facts, information, reality, etc., relating to the situation concerned. It's a defense mechanism and perfectly natural.

2. Anger: It can manifest in different ways. People dealing with emotional upset can be angry with themselves, and/or with others, especially those close to them. Knowing this helps keep detached and non-judgemental when experiencing the anger of someone who is very upset. When dealing with suicides and divorce, anger will be more apparent. Other times the anger can even be directed at a higher power such as God. 

3. Bargaining: traditionally the bargaining stage for people facing death can involve attempting to bargain with whatever God they believe in. People facing less serious trauma can bargain or seek to negotiate a compromise. For example "can we still be friends?" When facing a breakup or divorce. Bargaining rarely provides a sustainable solution, especially if it's a matter of life or death. 

4. Depression: Also referred to as preparatory grieving. In a way it's the dress rehearsal or the practice run for the "aftermath" although this stage means different things depending on whom it involves. It's sort of an acceptance with emotional attachments. It's natural to feel sadness and regret, fear, uncertainty, etc. It shows that the person has at least begun to accept the reality.

5. Acceptance: again this stage definitely varies according to the situation. It is an indication that there is some emotional detachment and objectivity. 

Keeping these stages in mind, also know that finding individual and group support helps. Seeking therapeutic counseling can help you understand your own process and embrace the chances. Group supports will help you feel that you are not alone and others who experienced the same thing are there to support you. I went through a divorce AND a death in the family simultaneously. I found therapy very helpful and I attended a group support program called Divorce Care. If you have children, they also have groups to help your children understand as well!!!!  

Planning the First Trip

Some people hate planning. Me, I am a planner freak.. I love planning. My bestie used to laugh at me because I would plan every outfit for everyday and write it out with accessories and all. The worst part is that I DID follow my plan, lol. Planning can be so much fun especially when you plan a trip. You start by checking out the must-do's in the area, where to stay, reviews of different places, etc. How about that first family trip with your little one?????

We planned our first family trip for the 4th of July. I must admit that I started planning like I usually do for ANY trip. However, traveling with an infant IS NOT the same as traveling as a couple or alone. Nevertheless, all the considerations you must look into BEFORE the trip to avoid headaches. My experience was quite interesting and I MUST share what I found worked for me and what was an epic fail. 

First, searching for airfare was very interesting. I looked for the most economical flights yet practical. So we purchased a night flight off to San Diego. Since we live in Denver, the flight was only 1 hour and 45 minutes. I planned for the departure time to agree with my daughter's schedule. I bathed her and put on her pjs right before we left the house. Since the flight was at 8:30, I did not want to wake her to change clothes. I always travel with Southwest because they do not charge for luggage and as a new mom with an infant I knew we would have tons of stuff.

Second, the hotel was family friendly. I made sure it had nice amenities for a family of 3. My standards will be different than everyone else because we have different comforts. My main concern was to get a king size bed and good pool area. Just in case the trip was a COMPLETE fail, I wanted to make sure I would be happy hanging out at the hotel. I find it hard to haul a pack and play so I rather co-sleep during vacation. That works best for my family for now. 

Third, I researched places we can enjoy as a family. Keep in mind your children's age group though. Since we have a 6 months old, I had to make sure she was able to take her naps on the go. Since we were mostly outdoors, she was in her stroller without a carseat. But when she would fall asleep we would take the carseat and the stroller so we wont interrupt her sleep. Also, try to find a centrally located hotel. We were within 10-15 mins from all the attractions. That helped ALOT! Whenever it was too much for the baby to handle we were able to go back to the hotel and relax before another outing. It was a huge help to do that. We avoided temper tantrums by doing that. 

Finally, travel smart and not "cute". It is super cute to travel with a cute little bag that matches your outfit or a travel side bag. If you are like me, you would hate carrying tons of stuff. I hate carrying a purse AND a diaper bag. So, I got a cute oversize bag where my personal things AND baby necessities would fit. I packed sufficient juices, bottles and snacks. 

Some of the things that DID NOT work was buying bottled waters every time we had to make a bottle. It would have been easier to just buy a gallon at our destination. That would have been more cost effective. Another fail was to travel with baby food. Our luggage was heavier because of these items. Unless you are traveling international, you should be able to find all baby foods at your nearest supermarket. If you are planning to spend your vacation exploring all day and night then be ready to have one cranky baby at the end. Some of our outings had to be cut short!!!!!! 

Aside from all these, we had a great time and learned how to team work to get things moving smooth. So do not be afraid to speak up and ask your partner for help. Even though you are on your vacation, your mommy brain will not take a break and it could feel like if you are still home!!!!!

Dealing with Change

Change is something that not everyone can handle nor accept. Change is something that we MUST get used to. Regardless of how we feel about change or deal with change, it is an inevitable phenomenon. I have seen people that refuse to enter new technology because they don't like to change what they already know. Nevertheless, at the end of it all, they end up changing because it is just inevitable. So what is it about change that scares people so much????

I believe we are creatures of habit and when a change happens it just throws us off. We like to always have control and meet our expectations. Once something alters these things we tend to get nervous. 

When I found out I was pregnant, I was "ready" to embrace the changes my body would go through. I was not ready for the mental changes nor the additional body changes that no one warned me about. I was not expecting a change to sudden paranoia and insecurities. I was not prepared for my circle of friends to change. I was not expecting for my body not to have the ability to nurse my baby either. 

There are some changes, the good ones, that we have no problem accepting and embracing them. It is the unexpected changes that shake our grounds a bit and forces us to camouflage. Even though I was not expecting these changes I learned how to appreciate them.

I learned that my body created something amazing therefore it has to mirror that change. I will not have the body I used to because my new body just gave me the best blessing I ever wanted. I changed my mindset and instead of working towards getting my body back, I am working on improving my new one.

If it wasn't for the unexpected change in friends, I would have never found a group of amazing new moms! I was forced to change my circle of friends and I am very happy with my new social life.

So, friends, do not be afraid to take that leap of faith and embrace the changes. Most of the time, change works out for your advantage. And many times if takes a big sudden change to allow yourself to expand your horizons!!!!! 

Dealing with Self Esteem and Confidence

Have you ever heard of the phrase "love others like you love yourself"? It is actually a bible verse if you must know....

However, loving yourself is a bit harder (for some people) than to love others! Dealing with low self esteem and self confidence is a hard task! I see how others do it with such ease but not me!!!! I struggle every day of my life with this issue. My sister jokes around with me because every year, around my birthday, I always tell her it's time for a new look! I MEAN every single year lol. People get tired of their wardrobe, I get tired of myself. It is super easy to change the wardrobe but not yourself. 

The sad part of my struggle is that it's completely mental! I get compliments constantly about my looks and I don't know how to accept them. It makes me feel so weird and undeserving. I want to accept it deep inside but I just can't. I have a career and completed a master's degree and I am pretty good at what I do. Sounds like I have reasons to have self confidence right? Well, nope. I struggle with that as well!!!! I always doubt myself and second guess my decisions. It is a never ending nightmare. If you have experienced this, then you know what I am talking about. The worse part about this nightmare is not so much how or why you feel this way. It is how your loved ones treat this issue!!! They get extremely impatient with you and short tempered. They treat you like if you mean to be this way!!!! HELLO!!!! I dont want to be this way which is why it's a daily struggle, thank you! Ugh!!!!!

As a new mom, having this "new" body is a bigger hit to my self esteem. I do agree it is completely worth it and yes I will do it again! After all, my body is not the problem is my self deception! 

Even though it is a daily struggle I do not let this get the best of me!!! I actively try everyday to beat this inner issue... If I do not fight it daily I will be defeated and you would find me moping around, with pajamas in complete darkness in my house!!  Just like a dragon in the dungeon! 

Here are a few things I have tried daily. Keep in mind I do not do all these things in one day. Also, I take the approach of daily goals. I am a busy mom, wife and prifessional so I can only handle this in a daily basis. Besides, remember I told you it's a daily struggle for me.....

To learn how to love yourself practice the 5 languages of love in yourself. The 5 languages are:

Words of affirmation: praise yourself in something simple you accomplished. Even if it's laundry after a complicated day.

Quality time: do something you like to do by yourself. You don't have to go away from home (it's good if you do! Kids find you anywhere). Make sure it's something that makes you feel good! Ex. Gym, girls night, bubble path, pampering, massage, etc.

Gifts: head to your favorite store and buy yourself an outfit that fits you good!!!! Even if you are trying to loose weight! Or buy yourself jewelry, shoes, purse or whatever!!!! 

Acts of service: do something that makes you feel good. It can be for yourself or others as long as it makes you feel special and accomplished.

Physical touch: go for a massage or indulge in a spa! It's filled with appropriate touching!!!! 

Health Tip: Farmers' Markets

One of the things I am trying to accomplish is to change our family's eating habit. I have done some research and reading and came to a conclusion that organic is the best way to go!!!! As we all know, becoming organic is a very expensive process.

I am determined to find ways to accomplish this without, once again, breaking the bank! I have not converted completely but I have found some helpful tips from articles and friends. 

The most useful tip I learned is Farmers' Market. The products comes straight from the farm to the market then your house. Apparently to become certified organic is very expensive. Therefore these farmers use the same process but are not certified. The prices are cheaper than organic stores for sure but some markets can be pricey still. Another tip I learned is store brand organic products! For example, the Kroger stores have Simple Truth Organic. I checked out the products and they are significantly lower than Whole Foods and other organic brands. Keep in mind eating healthier will still be more expensive than conventional foods but it will not break the bank. 

 

The Waiting Game

Have you ever heard the phrase "great things happen to those who wait"? Very common phrase in my walk of life!!!! However, it doesn't matter how many times I hear it... I still get impatient. It feels like putting a cake in front of you and saying "don't eat it!"!!!! Like, really?!?!? Lol

Playing the waiting game is never fun but life has taught me that the moment you loose your cool and jump the gun, it turns sour. So I was forced to learn how to wait and not be impatient. At the end, when I look back I usually say, "oh I see why now".... Patience is something you learn and it's not part of you. The way you learn patience is never fun or favorable. It's usually full of mistakes and bad decisions. Here are some tips on how to play the waiting game:

1. Define your goals: be very specific with your goals! If it's a job then make sure you include the environment you want, location , salary etc. If it's a partner then write down specific traits you want and so on.

2. Be patient: we all struggle with this one but try your best to be patient! 

3. Set mini goals: achieving mini goals is easier than a big one. Set up some little goals to accomplish what you want while you are waiting for it! Think of it as a big puzzle and work on a piece at a time.

4. Redirect your focus: there are other things in life than that ONE thing you are waiting for. Take a break and do other things that will bring you some fulfillment in any area of your life. 

5. Don't forget: we can't control everything in life. Sometimes things happen for a reason. Although you might not like the reasons, it is always good to remember that we don't know it all. Trust in things you can't control and don't be so hard on your yourself!

Life Behind the Curtain

Have you ever looked a someone's life and said to yourself: "I wish I can have a life like that"?

Facebook and Twitter is full of perfect lives, no issues, peaches and cream relationships and awesome jobs! In the social media everyone has a perfect life. Well, I am here to tell you that life behind the curtains is very different than on stage!!! That person you admire the most does have their own share of struggles. That friend that is always happy and perky could go home and cry herself to sleep. That loving mother hugging her child and in a playful mood might be struggling with depression and anxiety. What about your cousin who just got blessed with a bundle of joy after years of trying? She "looks" so happy with her baby but at home she can't stop crying!!!

Sometimes we tend to judge others from the outside and from what we can see- their life stage. There is more to a person than what you see! Always ask yourself, how is life behind the curtains. 

My life on stage: Beautiful family with a new baby and a handsome husband. Living in a great city with great people. Outgoing and friendly personality with positive advice to anyone looking for it. Always laughing and making jokes.I look like I just got it altogether huh?!?!

My life behind the curtain: A new mom struggling with balancing her new life. Always trying to please and bring happiness to others. A mom who had a rough time with postpartum depression and loneliness. Who couldn't understand why she didn't want to take care of her precious baby...confused between joy and guilt....experienced the high demand of breastfeeding when her body couldn't do it. A wife who struggled with full happiness in her marriage not knowing how much her husband DID understand. A girl that felt she had no one to talk to when surrounded with great people but living 2000 miles away from all family members....not have the ability and comfort of a hug from her own mother nor the comforting company of her siblings nor the sweet smiles of her nieces and nephew. A "pretty" girl who constantly battles self esteem and self worth.....who's mirror image was distorted and kind words from her husband wasn't sufficient. A person who's life experiences took her ability to dream again therefor planning for the future became a struggle. This is Me behind the curtains!!!

I have learned that without pain there is no gain!!! Nothing in life is for granted. And nothing in life is perfect. Perfection is what YOU want it to be. My definition of a perfect life does not look like yours and that is OK!!! I love my life and even though my life behind the curtain may sound "bad" to some.. to me it's perfect! I appreciate life more and I am able to be real and relate to others. 

Everyone is a real life celebrity in a way (without the fortune) lol. We all have an audience to impress whether is friends, professors, family, partners, etc. We all have a life stage. 

There is nothing wrong with a life stage. We can be as "real" as we can be but there is always something behind the curtains that only selective people may know. Just remember that everyone else does too. So be careful how you treat others and what you do to others. Always keep in mind that, just like you, they too have a life behind the curtains. 

Fashion Tip: Glam on a Budget

Here I go again!!! I will not stop emphasizing that I do not need to break my bank to look good and to pamper myself!!! I am forever looking and searching for decent deals. "I can't afford  it" is slowly leaving my vocabulary.

So, my new tip for glam on a budget is GROUPON!!!! Awesome company, great customer service and hassle free which are my favorite phrases. Just in case (which I doubt) you didn't know, groupon is a website and app that shows deals I mean DEALS from your nearby places. The deals range from dining to traveling!!! They differ every day and sometimes totally worth it!! Living Social does the same thing if you want to check them out. However I had a bad experience with their customer service therefore I rather groupon all the way. 

So why not stay up to date with all the fashion looks and all the pampering we need once in a while at an affordable price?????

I found a deal for a well reputable salon and was able to get haircut, style and treatment for $40!!!! Here in Denver just cuts range anywhere from $50 and up!!! So I saved 60% and look fab!!!! This particular place does your hair while you sip a good glass of wine and they have refills!!! Oh, did I forget to say its complimentary?!?! SCORE....

You too can enjoy deals like this and live a fab life without the fab cost!!!! What are you waiting for???? Go and hit up groupon.com....

Hairstyles For Moms

Just in case you didn't know, I love long hair! It took ,e forever to grow my hair to the length I wanted. My all time favorite hairstyles are from the Kardashians. Although, they usually always wear extensions, I still get my hair inspirations from them. So, when I was pregnant I was loving my luscious hair. THEN....ummm my hair took a turn to the worst lol. If you didn't know, your hair falls out in large quantities after birth. I thought it was not going to happen to me but 6 months later boom, it happened. Dreadfully, I started contemplating new hairstyles that are easy and practical for moms. I did my research and came across a great article from parentconnect.com. Here is what I found:

 High Pony: This style goes with ANY hair types. Ponytails get bad rep just because if not done right it could look messy. You can definitely pull off a classy and sleek ponytail and feel great instantly.

 The Headbands: There are so many different headband out there. They range from summery thick ones to classy thin ones! You can pull off different hairstyles with headbands. And of course your hair will be out of your face.

  The French Twist: This style is super cute! All you need is a couple of pins and voila, you are ready. The messy (easy) look works great when you are in a rush. Just remember to leave the front nice and sleek.

 The Bun: This style makes me laugh! Why? Well, my friends HATE to see me in a bun. It is not necessarily because buns are ugly. Instead, because I don't take my time to make them sleek. Buns can be very classy and fun. You can add chop sticks if you like.

The Low Side Pony: I have tried this one in different ways and I love it. I usually side part my hair and put in a low ponytail. I usually do a messy braid though. Pin the loose hair for a sleek look but don't be afraid to leave some loose strands.

The Scarf: Now that winter is gone, use those silk scarves as a hairpiece. It works great to pull your hair out of your face and be functional with your kids. Have some fun with different colors though. It will bring the fun side of you out!!!!!







I hope you enjoyed these fun tips. Feel free to YouTube these styles to learn how to do them step by step!!! I know I did.

Fitness Tip: Check your insurance

Quick tip: most insurances give you some type of wellness benefit. These companies are all about printing wellness in every aspect!

So my old insurance used to give me a discount on any gym. I used to pay $20 a month for 24 Hour Fitness.

My new insurance offers 2 programs:

1. They reimburse you $20 a month for the gym membership as long as you go 12 times a month.

2. They offer discounts on certain gyms or classes.

So, get on that phone and call your insurance and ask about wellness programs. Every penny counts when it comes to staying healthy and budgeting. 

Beyond Diet: Something New

Remember I said that part of my blog is to document  my progress on my health and fitness. I am not sure if it is because I am a mom or 32 years old now, but I have become a lot more aware of my health and finding or learning healthier habits. I am always down for a good diet to loose weight and look good. But always tend to get discouraged when the weightloss doesn't happen quick enough or at all. I have a huge problem with reaching my plateau too fast. So I think that instead of dieting and getting frustrated I should just learn how to eat and enjoy my food!!!

I found a program that I want to try! It's called Beyond Diet by Isabel De Los Rios. I can't say much about the program because I just started it this week. So far I am reading her book and I find it very helpful. Now, the best part of this book is that she teaches how to do all this on a budget!! As you already know, I am all about budgets. I just refuse to believe that I cannot be healthy without spending a fortune. Many of her tips I already had implemented so I know it works!

I will be sharing my progress and what I learn as I go!!!! Stay tuned...

Dare to Dream!

As little girls we believe in fairy tales and we believe that they are true. We believe in princesses and happily ever after. Then as we grow older we become teenagers and our dreams change to something more "grown up". Then we become adults and forget how to dream and wish upon a star....

Why does this happen? Well, as we live life we encounter multiple disappointments and obstacles that fog our dreams and makes us realize that reality vs dreams are not so, well, real. Worries take over, then responsibilities and then those bad experiences!!!

We have the power to change that! Just dare to dream!!! And takes those dreams and work hard on them to make them a reality. Don't forget that obstacles will happen and when they do then tweak your dream and keep going!!!! After all, life wouldn't be life if we didn't have dreams. Let the inner child in you come out and DARE TO DREAM!!! I will guarantee you that you will be living a more positive life once you start chasing those dreams. 

I have a strong belief in God and even sometimes I wonder if he took a vacation on me! Life happens and things happened to me but I decided to not let that stop me from dreaming. Once I jumped that big hurtle I started living a happier life and started focusing on my positives. Every negative has a positive and every life has both side so make a decision and flip that side and just DREAM! 

Quick exercise: something that worked great with me is making a dream board. Cut out images of what your dream is and see how it looks from the outside!

Feeling Sexy Lately?

So I was reading a very good article from @parenting called "How to be a mom and still feel sexy". It got me thinking quite a bit. To be honest, I always struggled with "feeling sexy" thing. I always struggle with self worth and I am my worst enemies. I don't take compliments well which makes my husband's job a littler harder lol. Society tends to tell us what is sexy and how to get there. In turn, motherhood completely takes that away. Like the article mentioned, imagine your self not showered for 3 days, hair a mess, and pumping breast kill and leaking everywhere!!! Sexy is so out the window!!! I must admit I laughed at the image because been there done that.

What exactly IS sexy???? Believe it or not the answer is only within you. Fashion magazines (although I live them) and celebrities make it look like its all in the outside when it is not. Some women feel sexy when they improve their intelligence others feel sexy by pampering themselves for themselves.... I feel great when I go shopping!!!! I just feel like another person altogether. 

So, the article had some interesting and useful suggestions/tips. Here are some:

1. Buy something that fits: many people told me to NOT buy clothes until I loose all my baby weight. I agreed but then quickly realized that it doesn't fix me feeling better about myself! So buy some clothes that fit! I don't suggest to buy a wardrobe because chances are that you will loose weight and to be honest maybe our bodies will not go back to before and just be better!!!!

2. Have some me time: going on a date with girlfriends or watching a chic flick at the theaters will motivate you to get all dolled up for yourself and for once you can focus on yourself for yourself. 

3. Join a class: I love Zumba and I feel so good about my body after a Zumba class! It's fun and energizing! Oh yeah and u can loose weight while having fun!!!   

These were my favorite tips from the article but they mention a lot more like reading a novel, indulging on yourself etc!!!! Check out parenting.com and look for the article!!!

Happy Mother's Day!!!

Mother's Day has always been special because I still have a mother! However, now that I am a mom I truly appreciate my mother....

Motherhood is no joke and I never once saw or heard my mom complain about being a mother! I love her to death but she doesn't live near me :(. Thank God for video chats lol.

On this Mother's Day I want to congratulate all my fellow mothers and enjoy yourselves out there and share those precious moments!!!!

PPD the Silent Pain

As a psychotherapist, I was very aware of the probability of postpartum depression. I did not, for once, underestimated it. Since I have no family living nearby I made sure I found a support system to lookout for me. It is really hard for you to notice whether or not you have postpartum depression (ppd). I had conversations with my friends regarding this issue and researched more about just to be aware. My biggest fear was to become extremely depressed and for my behavior to be harmful to me and or the baby.

What did I experience? Well, first of all lets talk about the difference between baby blues and depression. It is completely normal to fee a little down right after giving birth. Let's face it, even though it's a beautiful experience, it is also a very traumatic experience with a great reward! I know it sounds a little contradicting. Your body goes thru a tremendous pressure and the recovery really depends on the individual. Now, besides your hormonal and body change, there is your mental health. As a new mom, you feel like everything is up to YOU. Especially if you are breast feeding! It would be great if men could breast feed so we can sleep a little huh?!? Baby blues happens to almost anyone! It is when you feel down and a mild depression. It is more than not having energy to do anything but not having any motivation as well. Baby blues usually lasts up to 6 weeks and sometimes longer. It can easily turn into PPD. The difference is that PPD is more severe where you just want to give up on everything like taking care of yourself or the baby, loss of interest in almost everything, lack of motivation, constant crying, feeling like everything is going wrong, and in extreme cases thoughts of  hurting yourself and/or the baby. 

Reading this symptoms would probably make you feel like a horrible person. At least that's what I felt!!! 

Please know that you are not a horrible person, you are just going through something and you are not alone. Many women go thru this painful process but keep it a secret. Others feel ashamed to feel like this because you are "supposed" to be happy to have a baby....

I sure was not feeling like this. I had mild baby blues and my family was here to help me. However, when they left the depression hit me out of nowhere and like a brick! I will never forget how I was in the shower and just burst into tears for no reason. It's like I went from loving my life to hating it within seconds. I didn't want to touch my baby and I couldn't stop crying. My husband didn't know what to do. I called my closest friend and just cried for help. I didn't know what to do. I remember my husband asking me if I feel like hurting myself or the baby but my answer was no. 

PPD is a silent pain that many new moms  go thru. No one wants to admit experiencing horrible feelings. I am very happy to see that PPD is not perceived as a weakness nor bad parenting. I was amazed to see the reactions to my mommy group when I took the courage to say "I have PPD". The amount of love and acceptance was unbelievable. And even better, my courage to share prompted other moms to say "me too". So we are not alone after all! 

What to do when you experience PPD? My biggest suggestion is to NOT keep it a secret. There is a huge benefit with talking to others. Therapy is a good approach and it will help you better understand this phenomenon. Find a support group. Listening to others' gives you a different perspective on things and teaches you that you are not the only one. Leave the house! Yes, those walls ARE moving. Take a walk, join a friend for coffee, or go to a park. Baby steps are important. If you make small goals they are easier to achieve and that is important. And finally, do not underestimate yourself. Don't think you can deal with this in your own because you don't have to. The help is here for you to use!!!

Parenthood & Friendship: The Ugly Truth

There is this phenomenon called friendship! I know I have blogs about this in different aspects but never imagined to see it from this point of view. I knew that some friendships were going to change after having a baby. That was expected. As I entered a new cycle of friends I realized that not everyone can master this positively. What do I mean? I will tell you. In the parenting world there are tons of diversity like the social world. I don't intend to separate the two but its an illustration. Some people have a hard time with other customs, cultures, races, etc.
Well, parenting have different styles and not everyone is going to agree. The question is will you be able to be friends with other parents that don't share your point of you? Personally I am able to accept others' views and respect them. But I do struggle with others telling me that my way is the wrong way!

What's the ugly truth? As parents we have to accept others' opinion regardless or how else will we get along? Accepting someone opinion does not mean you have to agree with them. It just means you value that person's friendship enough. Let me warn you, it is not easy. So be ready to encounter topics that will make your blood boil and if you can't handle it feel free to change the subject!!!

Fitness Fun Tip: Rollerblading

Did you know you can burn almost 700 calories if you roller blade for 1 hour???? I was shocked!!!! So let the summer fun begin.

The cool thing is that u can do that with your baby in a stroller 😊. Make sure you buy all the safety pads and go enjoy the warm weather!!!!

Fashion: June's Hot Trends

Just because we are moms or just had a baby (in my case) doesn't mean we cant brush up on trends out there! Here is what I discovered for June:

1. Revlon's monthly color: Fruity Coral- love this color because it's a fresh summer color and it really gives you that pop of color

2. Definitely DO for June: fuchsia lipstick- I gotta try this because I am not a pink fan but it looks fab!

3. Blues: every shade of it!!!! So nice and cool. Perfect for any occasion!!!

4. Jewelry for your feet: gemstone sandals- great for beach, bar and dinner!!!

5. Wavy Hairstyles: check out glamour.com for ideas for all lengths and textures. And bangs are making a comback so I gotta see what works for me!

Also don't forget it's beach and pool season so pretty up those nails and toes and go out there on your best bathing suit outfit!!!!

Friendship: Be Prepared!

One thing I was never prepared for was drastic change in friendships. While I was pregnant I was slowly loosing friends and it took an optional toll on me. I felt like those weren't real friends and I felt like an outcast. I vented to other mommies and they were going thru the same thing. Like if having a baby was a contagious disease or something!!!
Well, I finally understood (throughout time) that this was part of the transition to parenthood. I was mad at those friends I lost until I realized it was not personal nor anyone fault. Think about it! What makes a friendship? Common interests, personalities, walks of life and priorities. So if a lot of those things change then most likely the friendship will change. It doesn't mean you are no longer friends it just means the caliber of the friendship chances!!! Even the strong friendships undergo big drastic changes. I do believe that some friendships are meant to last forever thru all changes and others are transitional! Regardless of what type of friendship it is just enjoy it and treasure it.

How I dealt with it? Well, I looked for new friends!!! Now this is so not an easy task for everyone especially if you are an introvert. But it is not impossible, so if you are a social butterfly then look for mommy groups and if you are an introvert then seek around your current circle. I bet there is at least 1 person in the same tract as you!!!!!
Friendship is something that is completely necessary don't rob yourself from that treasure and remember there always someone out there going thru the same thing as you!!! I learned that....

Loosing my Motivation!

There is nothing worse than to loose your motivation for anything! And noone is exempt from this.... What should I do when all of the sudden I just want to give up and throw in the towel? This can happen with exercising, dieting, trying to look good or even with relationships. Everything requires work otherwise it is usually not worth it. We tend to treasure those thing we work so hard for! For example, one is most likely to stay away from unhealthy foods if you worked so hard to loose weight, etc.

I struggle with time management and wanting to do so much! I want to give up exercising and eating healthy and just trying! It's those stubborn last 10lbs that does it to me....

So how did I get that motivation back? Well by speaking up my frustration and surrounding myself with positive people that will not let me give up! If I am lacking in the mommy hood dept then I have my new mommies to help me up. If my relationship/marriage is lacking I have people to give me words of wisdom! And when I want to give up working out and eating well I have my positive people to motivate me. So the key to increasing your motivation is to surround yourself with positive people!!!!

Baby Fashion on a Budget

Before I became a mom I heard a mom state that she refuses to look good and have her kids look bad! That statement stuck with me for years and I realized how many moms spend their times looking great and neglect their children's fashion. Other moms believe that keeping up with their kids' just cost too much money. Whatever the reason is, kids' are sometimes out of season fashion (because its cheaper) or just not matching.   I can already hear comments in the back of my head telling me how this is only because I am a first time mom and a new mom and this fad will fade away.  I refuse to believe this lie! I also refuse to believe that I cant dress up my baby cute without spending tons of money.....so this is what I do so far....

I always make sure my daughter matches from head to toe. Keep in mind this is just my fashion sense and everyone is different. I buy my daughter's clothes at Marshalls, TJ Maxx and Ross. These stores are very affordable and are not out of season bargains. I do shop out of season sales because sometimes is not really out of season. Let's talk about bargains. Define what is a bargain for you. For me, a bargain is an outfit for less than $10 and separates for less than $5. I don't spend more than that and I don't buy too many outfits from a specific size. Truth is kids out grow their clothes very quick so I budget quantity and price! Do not be afraid of major department stores like Macys, Bbaies R Us and The Children Place. You will be amazed with their sales and clearance. These stores are a season ahead so they will clearance out summer clothes in summer etc. I bought bathing suits for $1, outfits sets for $6, etc. I have gone to thrift stores and I get better bargains at regular stores and the clothes are brand new. Children can be expensive with diapers, food and wipes so why not save every time you can!!!!

Here are some of the outfits my daughter is rocking!!!!!

Proud Mommy and Baby

Spring Baby Fashion

Fun in the sun 

Baby Spring/Summer Outfit 

How to be a Happy Mommy!

http://m.parenting.com/article/how-to-be-a-happier-mom?src=SOC&dom=tw

I found this article very interesting and helpful! Enjoy.....

Don't Forget Him!

As I am doing this new transition I realized how easy and quick you can forget about your partner! Between working full time, new baby, trying to work out and house chores, I tend to totally neglect my husband! Huge NO NO!!!!!

So it's important to take time for date nights even if you are staying inside. Call a babysitter or a fellow mom and go enjoy your partner. It takes dedication but its not hard. I plan to sacrifice an hour of sleep just to hang out with the hubby after the baby is asleep. I also have date nights once a month. Another cool thing is to make an outing out of errands. Like take a quick break for lunch and sit at a park or grab a bite.

My ultimate favorite is setting a night routine for my baby and enjoying a talk or even play around with the hubby. Whatever you decide to do will work and don't forget to have sex!!!! Yes, we must keep that fire going.....

Healthy on a Budget

One of my interests is eating healthier and somehow exercising. Momma gotta loose all that baby weight!!! However, if you look at grocery stores you will quickly realize how expensive healthy food is. (Side note: never understood how all these experts wants America to loose weight and not make healthy food affordable) I am determined to start making better choices and healthier choices without breaking the bank.
The first thing I did was download all my groceries apps! I am an on the go mom so I need all the apps out there. With my groceries app I can see what's on sale and what coupons are out there. The App automatically uploads the coupons to my store card and makes a shopping list for me. Another step I started was to follow some delicious recipes from eatingwell.com! They are awesome and super easy. They also have diet plans if you want to loose weight. I recently read a psych article that said to loose weight we have to diet AND workout. So I will try it. Another cheaper option is that grocery stores started their own healthy store brand. For example, Safeway has the Eating Right brands and King Soopers has Simple Truth brand.
I usually buy all my fruits and veggies from a farmer market because it is way cheaper than any supermarkets. Our farmers market is Sprouts! Another good tip is to limit yourself to the perimeter of the store. It's usually where all the good stuff are! I can't always do that but you can try it. Parenting magazine has an article about 10 healthier fast food choices when you are on the go and they are affordable. You might want to check it out.

Give yourself a break!

There will be moments were you just want to throw in the towel and not care about anything! I sure felt like that yesterday. It's like you want to do all these great things but sometimes doubt that you can do it. My solution to this problem was "catching a break of myself"! It's really easy to take a break from everyone else but it's hard to give yourself a break from yourself. Did you know we are our worst critic? At least I am. Well I took a break and I ate whatever I wanted, didn't work out, left the baby in onesies and ordered a pizza and ate it on the couch with pjs! Funny part is my husband loved it and my baby even decided to go to bed earlier. Needless to say, I didn't care and it turned out good!