New Struggle: Discipline

When I was childless, I was real quick on "knowing" how parents should discipline their children and had my ideas on exactly what I would do when my turn came. Boy was I in for an awakening!!!! Truth is that I am having a hard time with this concept: DISCIPLINE. I know mom experts must be reading this and wondering " what is wrong with her?". But it is so true, I am seriously struggling. And to add to my already confused mind, I am a Child Therapist!!!! However, do not confuse my expertise and knowledge with my motherhood. I have a dear friend that is a doctor and she does not like to check her own child. So I guess I am not that crazy for not applying my expertise to my own child, lol.

This is where I am struggling. Like million of other moms out there, I want to raise a perfect child (unrealistic). I would like my kids to be well manered, respect their parents as well as others and not be afraid to talk to us. My daughter is only 9 months old and she is at the age of setting limits. Therefore, the word "NO" is repeated thousands of times at home. We have found out that she has learned the meaning of no and our facial expressions associated with it. Nevertheless, she is an infant full of energy, curiosity and adventure. I also understand that every child have a distinct personality and not every discipline principle works. And honestly, that just made my confusion worse. I have cultural beliefs that come with their own principles of discipline. Then I live in a culture that also have their standards of proper discipline. Also, I have my own perception and knowledge from my field of the effects of proper and improper parenting. Can you see my struggle now?????

After researching tons of articles and reading books and manuals, I came to ONE conclusion. My conclusion is NO ONE HAS A RIGHT ANSWER! One example is corporal punishment. Tons of research shows how much it affects a child in a negative way. Then, other research shows the contrary along with cultural aspects. The best thing I was able to do is gather all the information (negative and positive) and lay them out on the table. Then I brought in my parenting partner (my husband) and asked him his beliefs and thoughts. After all, I am not raising our children alone. We were able to discuss our feelings and thoughts about this matter and together came up with something that fits our family. We both decided what we will try and how we will execute our principles. It was the best approach I took and I can honestly say that it ease my mind.

I refuse to believe that I am the only mother worrying about this! I sometimes think about this huge responsibility we have of raising our children. I analyze how much we can mess them up and how much we can help them. At the end of the day, we can only do so much and not everyone can agree on one thing. Discipline is an individuial thing because not ONE person is equal to ANOTHER.