Dealing with Change

Change is something that not everyone can handle nor accept. Change is something that we MUST get used to. Regardless of how we feel about change or deal with change, it is an inevitable phenomenon. I have seen people that refuse to enter new technology because they don't like to change what they already know. Nevertheless, at the end of it all, they end up changing because it is just inevitable. So what is it about change that scares people so much????

I believe we are creatures of habit and when a change happens it just throws us off. We like to always have control and meet our expectations. Once something alters these things we tend to get nervous. 

When I found out I was pregnant, I was "ready" to embrace the changes my body would go through. I was not ready for the mental changes nor the additional body changes that no one warned me about. I was not expecting a change to sudden paranoia and insecurities. I was not prepared for my circle of friends to change. I was not expecting for my body not to have the ability to nurse my baby either. 

There are some changes, the good ones, that we have no problem accepting and embracing them. It is the unexpected changes that shake our grounds a bit and forces us to camouflage. Even though I was not expecting these changes I learned how to appreciate them.

I learned that my body created something amazing therefore it has to mirror that change. I will not have the body I used to because my new body just gave me the best blessing I ever wanted. I changed my mindset and instead of working towards getting my body back, I am working on improving my new one.

If it wasn't for the unexpected change in friends, I would have never found a group of amazing new moms! I was forced to change my circle of friends and I am very happy with my new social life.

So, friends, do not be afraid to take that leap of faith and embrace the changes. Most of the time, change works out for your advantage. And many times if takes a big sudden change to allow yourself to expand your horizons!!!!! 

Dealing with Self Esteem and Confidence

Have you ever heard of the phrase "love others like you love yourself"? It is actually a bible verse if you must know....

However, loving yourself is a bit harder (for some people) than to love others! Dealing with low self esteem and self confidence is a hard task! I see how others do it with such ease but not me!!!! I struggle every day of my life with this issue. My sister jokes around with me because every year, around my birthday, I always tell her it's time for a new look! I MEAN every single year lol. People get tired of their wardrobe, I get tired of myself. It is super easy to change the wardrobe but not yourself. 

The sad part of my struggle is that it's completely mental! I get compliments constantly about my looks and I don't know how to accept them. It makes me feel so weird and undeserving. I want to accept it deep inside but I just can't. I have a career and completed a master's degree and I am pretty good at what I do. Sounds like I have reasons to have self confidence right? Well, nope. I struggle with that as well!!!! I always doubt myself and second guess my decisions. It is a never ending nightmare. If you have experienced this, then you know what I am talking about. The worse part about this nightmare is not so much how or why you feel this way. It is how your loved ones treat this issue!!! They get extremely impatient with you and short tempered. They treat you like if you mean to be this way!!!! HELLO!!!! I dont want to be this way which is why it's a daily struggle, thank you! Ugh!!!!!

As a new mom, having this "new" body is a bigger hit to my self esteem. I do agree it is completely worth it and yes I will do it again! After all, my body is not the problem is my self deception! 

Even though it is a daily struggle I do not let this get the best of me!!! I actively try everyday to beat this inner issue... If I do not fight it daily I will be defeated and you would find me moping around, with pajamas in complete darkness in my house!!  Just like a dragon in the dungeon! 

Here are a few things I have tried daily. Keep in mind I do not do all these things in one day. Also, I take the approach of daily goals. I am a busy mom, wife and prifessional so I can only handle this in a daily basis. Besides, remember I told you it's a daily struggle for me.....

To learn how to love yourself practice the 5 languages of love in yourself. The 5 languages are:

Words of affirmation: praise yourself in something simple you accomplished. Even if it's laundry after a complicated day.

Quality time: do something you like to do by yourself. You don't have to go away from home (it's good if you do! Kids find you anywhere). Make sure it's something that makes you feel good! Ex. Gym, girls night, bubble path, pampering, massage, etc.

Gifts: head to your favorite store and buy yourself an outfit that fits you good!!!! Even if you are trying to loose weight! Or buy yourself jewelry, shoes, purse or whatever!!!! 

Acts of service: do something that makes you feel good. It can be for yourself or others as long as it makes you feel special and accomplished.

Physical touch: go for a massage or indulge in a spa! It's filled with appropriate touching!!!! 

Health Tip: Farmers' Markets

One of the things I am trying to accomplish is to change our family's eating habit. I have done some research and reading and came to a conclusion that organic is the best way to go!!!! As we all know, becoming organic is a very expensive process.

I am determined to find ways to accomplish this without, once again, breaking the bank! I have not converted completely but I have found some helpful tips from articles and friends. 

The most useful tip I learned is Farmers' Market. The products comes straight from the farm to the market then your house. Apparently to become certified organic is very expensive. Therefore these farmers use the same process but are not certified. The prices are cheaper than organic stores for sure but some markets can be pricey still. Another tip I learned is store brand organic products! For example, the Kroger stores have Simple Truth Organic. I checked out the products and they are significantly lower than Whole Foods and other organic brands. Keep in mind eating healthier will still be more expensive than conventional foods but it will not break the bank. 

 

The Waiting Game

Have you ever heard the phrase "great things happen to those who wait"? Very common phrase in my walk of life!!!! However, it doesn't matter how many times I hear it... I still get impatient. It feels like putting a cake in front of you and saying "don't eat it!"!!!! Like, really?!?!? Lol

Playing the waiting game is never fun but life has taught me that the moment you loose your cool and jump the gun, it turns sour. So I was forced to learn how to wait and not be impatient. At the end, when I look back I usually say, "oh I see why now".... Patience is something you learn and it's not part of you. The way you learn patience is never fun or favorable. It's usually full of mistakes and bad decisions. Here are some tips on how to play the waiting game:

1. Define your goals: be very specific with your goals! If it's a job then make sure you include the environment you want, location , salary etc. If it's a partner then write down specific traits you want and so on.

2. Be patient: we all struggle with this one but try your best to be patient! 

3. Set mini goals: achieving mini goals is easier than a big one. Set up some little goals to accomplish what you want while you are waiting for it! Think of it as a big puzzle and work on a piece at a time.

4. Redirect your focus: there are other things in life than that ONE thing you are waiting for. Take a break and do other things that will bring you some fulfillment in any area of your life. 

5. Don't forget: we can't control everything in life. Sometimes things happen for a reason. Although you might not like the reasons, it is always good to remember that we don't know it all. Trust in things you can't control and don't be so hard on your yourself!

Life Behind the Curtain

Have you ever looked a someone's life and said to yourself: "I wish I can have a life like that"?

Facebook and Twitter is full of perfect lives, no issues, peaches and cream relationships and awesome jobs! In the social media everyone has a perfect life. Well, I am here to tell you that life behind the curtains is very different than on stage!!! That person you admire the most does have their own share of struggles. That friend that is always happy and perky could go home and cry herself to sleep. That loving mother hugging her child and in a playful mood might be struggling with depression and anxiety. What about your cousin who just got blessed with a bundle of joy after years of trying? She "looks" so happy with her baby but at home she can't stop crying!!!

Sometimes we tend to judge others from the outside and from what we can see- their life stage. There is more to a person than what you see! Always ask yourself, how is life behind the curtains. 

My life on stage: Beautiful family with a new baby and a handsome husband. Living in a great city with great people. Outgoing and friendly personality with positive advice to anyone looking for it. Always laughing and making jokes.I look like I just got it altogether huh?!?!

My life behind the curtain: A new mom struggling with balancing her new life. Always trying to please and bring happiness to others. A mom who had a rough time with postpartum depression and loneliness. Who couldn't understand why she didn't want to take care of her precious baby...confused between joy and guilt....experienced the high demand of breastfeeding when her body couldn't do it. A wife who struggled with full happiness in her marriage not knowing how much her husband DID understand. A girl that felt she had no one to talk to when surrounded with great people but living 2000 miles away from all family members....not have the ability and comfort of a hug from her own mother nor the comforting company of her siblings nor the sweet smiles of her nieces and nephew. A "pretty" girl who constantly battles self esteem and self worth.....who's mirror image was distorted and kind words from her husband wasn't sufficient. A person who's life experiences took her ability to dream again therefor planning for the future became a struggle. This is Me behind the curtains!!!

I have learned that without pain there is no gain!!! Nothing in life is for granted. And nothing in life is perfect. Perfection is what YOU want it to be. My definition of a perfect life does not look like yours and that is OK!!! I love my life and even though my life behind the curtain may sound "bad" to some.. to me it's perfect! I appreciate life more and I am able to be real and relate to others. 

Everyone is a real life celebrity in a way (without the fortune) lol. We all have an audience to impress whether is friends, professors, family, partners, etc. We all have a life stage. 

There is nothing wrong with a life stage. We can be as "real" as we can be but there is always something behind the curtains that only selective people may know. Just remember that everyone else does too. So be careful how you treat others and what you do to others. Always keep in mind that, just like you, they too have a life behind the curtains. 

Fashion Tip: Glam on a Budget

Here I go again!!! I will not stop emphasizing that I do not need to break my bank to look good and to pamper myself!!! I am forever looking and searching for decent deals. "I can't afford  it" is slowly leaving my vocabulary.

So, my new tip for glam on a budget is GROUPON!!!! Awesome company, great customer service and hassle free which are my favorite phrases. Just in case (which I doubt) you didn't know, groupon is a website and app that shows deals I mean DEALS from your nearby places. The deals range from dining to traveling!!! They differ every day and sometimes totally worth it!! Living Social does the same thing if you want to check them out. However I had a bad experience with their customer service therefore I rather groupon all the way. 

So why not stay up to date with all the fashion looks and all the pampering we need once in a while at an affordable price?????

I found a deal for a well reputable salon and was able to get haircut, style and treatment for $40!!!! Here in Denver just cuts range anywhere from $50 and up!!! So I saved 60% and look fab!!!! This particular place does your hair while you sip a good glass of wine and they have refills!!! Oh, did I forget to say its complimentary?!?! SCORE....

You too can enjoy deals like this and live a fab life without the fab cost!!!! What are you waiting for???? Go and hit up groupon.com....

Hairstyles For Moms

Just in case you didn't know, I love long hair! It took ,e forever to grow my hair to the length I wanted. My all time favorite hairstyles are from the Kardashians. Although, they usually always wear extensions, I still get my hair inspirations from them. So, when I was pregnant I was loving my luscious hair. THEN....ummm my hair took a turn to the worst lol. If you didn't know, your hair falls out in large quantities after birth. I thought it was not going to happen to me but 6 months later boom, it happened. Dreadfully, I started contemplating new hairstyles that are easy and practical for moms. I did my research and came across a great article from parentconnect.com. Here is what I found:

 High Pony: This style goes with ANY hair types. Ponytails get bad rep just because if not done right it could look messy. You can definitely pull off a classy and sleek ponytail and feel great instantly.

 The Headbands: There are so many different headband out there. They range from summery thick ones to classy thin ones! You can pull off different hairstyles with headbands. And of course your hair will be out of your face.

  The French Twist: This style is super cute! All you need is a couple of pins and voila, you are ready. The messy (easy) look works great when you are in a rush. Just remember to leave the front nice and sleek.

 The Bun: This style makes me laugh! Why? Well, my friends HATE to see me in a bun. It is not necessarily because buns are ugly. Instead, because I don't take my time to make them sleek. Buns can be very classy and fun. You can add chop sticks if you like.

The Low Side Pony: I have tried this one in different ways and I love it. I usually side part my hair and put in a low ponytail. I usually do a messy braid though. Pin the loose hair for a sleek look but don't be afraid to leave some loose strands.

The Scarf: Now that winter is gone, use those silk scarves as a hairpiece. It works great to pull your hair out of your face and be functional with your kids. Have some fun with different colors though. It will bring the fun side of you out!!!!!







I hope you enjoyed these fun tips. Feel free to YouTube these styles to learn how to do them step by step!!! I know I did.