Am I Loosing My Mind?

When I was pregnant, people told me how my life was going to change. Some people disclosed how great my life will be others disclosed how miserable they are. Needless to say I was confused. I didn't know what to expect while I was expecting!!!! I refused to accept the negative comments and embraced all the positive advice. Now, I am a new mom of a 7 months old baby girl (time flies). And well I can tell you that those people who "scared" me were not all completely right. One thing that I was not ready to accept was the constant worry!!! OMG, DO I WORRY 24/7. Please, do not get me wrong. I do have moments of laughters, joys, smiles and play. But in the back of my head I am ALWAYS worrying. Is there a switch I can turn off for a break????? Pleeeeassse!!!!

I remember every trimester came with joys AND worries. First trimester is a critical time where you worry about miscarriages. Second trimester is when you rejoice on finding out the gender and worry about proper development. Third trimester you worry about labor and delivery. But once the baby is out then your worries just never stop.... I thought to myself, am I loosing my mind? Will I ever stop worrying? Do I have to over think things? Do I always have to think about worse case scenerios? Then I figured maybe I should stop watching Lifetime Movies, Criminal Minds, the news, scary movies and only watch cartoons!!!! Hah, I would probably have to leave this planet if I want to protect my child. These thoughts just pondered in my head day and night along with all the dangers in the world.

Truth is, I had to realize that I am a mom with limited control. I can sit here and think of million ways to put my baby in a bubble and succeed. But one day that baby will be an adult, a clueless one too if she stays in a bubble, lol.  I had to understand that LOVE has a price. Otherwise, we would not cherish it at all. My unconditional love for my child comes with constant worries. As a mom I want the best for my daughter and future children. The more I shared my fears and worries, the more I realize that ALL moms feel the same way. So I am NORMAL after all. My mom was right when she said, "when you become a mother, you will understand me 100%". And I do, and I appreciate her more than ever. So, what do I do with all these crazy worries???? NOTHING!!! Great answer, huh?!?!? But it is true, there is nothing I can do to stop the worries. All I can do is understand that this is part of being a mom and not having complete control. I just have to try the BEST I can to teach my children right, to raise them to make a difference in the world, to become a fine lady and/or gentlemen, to treat others with respect and love and to practice safety at all times. As for me, I have to learn to let go the need to control everything and trust in God. It is very hard to do especially knowing what I know. I can't rob my children from enjoying the beauties the world has to offer. Yes, I do understand there are bad things (evil ones) out there but I cannot raise scared human beings. I must sit back, relax and enjoy every little moment I have with them because the present is truly a gift.

Life Behind the Curtain

Have you ever looked a someone's life and said to yourself: "I wish I can have a life like that"?

Facebook and Twitter is full of perfect lives, no issues, peaches and cream relationships and awesome jobs! In the social media everyone has a perfect life. Well, I am here to tell you that life behind the curtains is very different than on stage!!! That person you admire the most does have their own share of struggles. That friend that is always happy and perky could go home and cry herself to sleep. That loving mother hugging her child and in a playful mood might be struggling with depression and anxiety. What about your cousin who just got blessed with a bundle of joy after years of trying? She "looks" so happy with her baby but at home she can't stop crying!!!

Sometimes we tend to judge others from the outside and from what we can see- their life stage. There is more to a person than what you see! Always ask yourself, how is life behind the curtains. 

My life on stage: Beautiful family with a new baby and a handsome husband. Living in a great city with great people. Outgoing and friendly personality with positive advice to anyone looking for it. Always laughing and making jokes.I look like I just got it altogether huh?!?!

My life behind the curtain: A new mom struggling with balancing her new life. Always trying to please and bring happiness to others. A mom who had a rough time with postpartum depression and loneliness. Who couldn't understand why she didn't want to take care of her precious baby...confused between joy and guilt....experienced the high demand of breastfeeding when her body couldn't do it. A wife who struggled with full happiness in her marriage not knowing how much her husband DID understand. A girl that felt she had no one to talk to when surrounded with great people but living 2000 miles away from all family members....not have the ability and comfort of a hug from her own mother nor the comforting company of her siblings nor the sweet smiles of her nieces and nephew. A "pretty" girl who constantly battles self esteem and self worth.....who's mirror image was distorted and kind words from her husband wasn't sufficient. A person who's life experiences took her ability to dream again therefor planning for the future became a struggle. This is Me behind the curtains!!!

I have learned that without pain there is no gain!!! Nothing in life is for granted. And nothing in life is perfect. Perfection is what YOU want it to be. My definition of a perfect life does not look like yours and that is OK!!! I love my life and even though my life behind the curtain may sound "bad" to some.. to me it's perfect! I appreciate life more and I am able to be real and relate to others. 

Everyone is a real life celebrity in a way (without the fortune) lol. We all have an audience to impress whether is friends, professors, family, partners, etc. We all have a life stage. 

There is nothing wrong with a life stage. We can be as "real" as we can be but there is always something behind the curtains that only selective people may know. Just remember that everyone else does too. So be careful how you treat others and what you do to others. Always keep in mind that, just like you, they too have a life behind the curtains. 

Parenthood & Friendship: The Ugly Truth

There is this phenomenon called friendship! I know I have blogs about this in different aspects but never imagined to see it from this point of view. I knew that some friendships were going to change after having a baby. That was expected. As I entered a new cycle of friends I realized that not everyone can master this positively. What do I mean? I will tell you. In the parenting world there are tons of diversity like the social world. I don't intend to separate the two but its an illustration. Some people have a hard time with other customs, cultures, races, etc.
Well, parenting have different styles and not everyone is going to agree. The question is will you be able to be friends with other parents that don't share your point of you? Personally I am able to accept others' views and respect them. But I do struggle with others telling me that my way is the wrong way!

What's the ugly truth? As parents we have to accept others' opinion regardless or how else will we get along? Accepting someone opinion does not mean you have to agree with them. It just means you value that person's friendship enough. Let me warn you, it is not easy. So be ready to encounter topics that will make your blood boil and if you can't handle it feel free to change the subject!!!

Friendship: Be Prepared!

One thing I was never prepared for was drastic change in friendships. While I was pregnant I was slowly loosing friends and it took an optional toll on me. I felt like those weren't real friends and I felt like an outcast. I vented to other mommies and they were going thru the same thing. Like if having a baby was a contagious disease or something!!!
Well, I finally understood (throughout time) that this was part of the transition to parenthood. I was mad at those friends I lost until I realized it was not personal nor anyone fault. Think about it! What makes a friendship? Common interests, personalities, walks of life and priorities. So if a lot of those things change then most likely the friendship will change. It doesn't mean you are no longer friends it just means the caliber of the friendship chances!!! Even the strong friendships undergo big drastic changes. I do believe that some friendships are meant to last forever thru all changes and others are transitional! Regardless of what type of friendship it is just enjoy it and treasure it.

How I dealt with it? Well, I looked for new friends!!! Now this is so not an easy task for everyone especially if you are an introvert. But it is not impossible, so if you are a social butterfly then look for mommy groups and if you are an introvert then seek around your current circle. I bet there is at least 1 person in the same tract as you!!!!!
Friendship is something that is completely necessary don't rob yourself from that treasure and remember there always someone out there going thru the same thing as you!!! I learned that....