The World Thru A Child's Eyes

The end of the year is here and I can't help but to think of things I didn't accomplish. I can't help but to think of the what ifs and how I could of improve things. Then these same thoughts take me to a better me for the new year.....

Many people get the "holiday blues" and I can honestly say it is not too hard to get there. Life is full of ups and downs, accomplishments and disappointments. It is never fully happiness and everything perfect! Otherwise it wouldn't be a real life nor a life worth living because there would be nothing to look forward to nor to fight for and nothing that would extend your own limits! 

I look at my daughter and all the children I counsel. And wondered.... "How is the world through their eyes?"

The answer is not so hard. You see, children are simple and transparent. They live in the present 100%. They don't know what tomorrow is so they don't worry about it. They have dreams that they hold to as the future. Try asking any age kids about the future. It would not make sense to you but it makes perfect sense to them. They believe in fairy tales still and in Santa Claus. I see traumatized kids in my field and even trauma does not take that precious gift of dreaming away. The fear is there, the anxiety creeps up on them, the unexplainable anger over takes them BUT they move on!!! They do not allow these unexplainable horrible feelings change who they are! As they get older their views change and start adapting to more adult like thinking. As a psychotherapist, I love working with children more than adults. Because children are full of hope and adults have a harder time getting there!!!! 

I realized that I was looking back at 2013 with pain were I can focus on the joys that the year brought. Or I can see the world through a child's eyes and focus on being present with myself and be excited for 2014! 

Happy New Years and try to be present every minute of your life! 

Life Behind the Curtain

Have you ever looked a someone's life and said to yourself: "I wish I can have a life like that"?

Facebook and Twitter is full of perfect lives, no issues, peaches and cream relationships and awesome jobs! In the social media everyone has a perfect life. Well, I am here to tell you that life behind the curtains is very different than on stage!!! That person you admire the most does have their own share of struggles. That friend that is always happy and perky could go home and cry herself to sleep. That loving mother hugging her child and in a playful mood might be struggling with depression and anxiety. What about your cousin who just got blessed with a bundle of joy after years of trying? She "looks" so happy with her baby but at home she can't stop crying!!!

Sometimes we tend to judge others from the outside and from what we can see- their life stage. There is more to a person than what you see! Always ask yourself, how is life behind the curtains. 

My life on stage: Beautiful family with a new baby and a handsome husband. Living in a great city with great people. Outgoing and friendly personality with positive advice to anyone looking for it. Always laughing and making jokes.I look like I just got it altogether huh?!?!

My life behind the curtain: A new mom struggling with balancing her new life. Always trying to please and bring happiness to others. A mom who had a rough time with postpartum depression and loneliness. Who couldn't understand why she didn't want to take care of her precious baby...confused between joy and guilt....experienced the high demand of breastfeeding when her body couldn't do it. A wife who struggled with full happiness in her marriage not knowing how much her husband DID understand. A girl that felt she had no one to talk to when surrounded with great people but living 2000 miles away from all family members....not have the ability and comfort of a hug from her own mother nor the comforting company of her siblings nor the sweet smiles of her nieces and nephew. A "pretty" girl who constantly battles self esteem and self worth.....who's mirror image was distorted and kind words from her husband wasn't sufficient. A person who's life experiences took her ability to dream again therefor planning for the future became a struggle. This is Me behind the curtains!!!

I have learned that without pain there is no gain!!! Nothing in life is for granted. And nothing in life is perfect. Perfection is what YOU want it to be. My definition of a perfect life does not look like yours and that is OK!!! I love my life and even though my life behind the curtain may sound "bad" to some.. to me it's perfect! I appreciate life more and I am able to be real and relate to others. 

Everyone is a real life celebrity in a way (without the fortune) lol. We all have an audience to impress whether is friends, professors, family, partners, etc. We all have a life stage. 

There is nothing wrong with a life stage. We can be as "real" as we can be but there is always something behind the curtains that only selective people may know. Just remember that everyone else does too. So be careful how you treat others and what you do to others. Always keep in mind that, just like you, they too have a life behind the curtains.